Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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