you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
