True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
