Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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