Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
