apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
