I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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