So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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