so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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