That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
