PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We're too hungover to prance.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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