so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
