covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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