We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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