I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
