tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
