So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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