im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
