Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dignity is for republicans.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
