It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
