its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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