i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
