i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
