Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize