69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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