I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
