you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
