I didn't shave. On purpose
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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