I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
