Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
