Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize