booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I've blown a few things in my day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
