even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
