party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
