last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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