Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
