so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
