Cold hands, warm shart.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
