please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize