oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
