Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
