Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
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