Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
