Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
