I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
