My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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