More tranny stories later!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
