I puked a lego.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
