how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
