I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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