thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
