my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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