then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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