i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
