if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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