i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
