The beer is more important than you right now.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
