It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
