he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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