I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
