I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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