Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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