I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
