just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
