piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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