so let's talk penis.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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