First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
