Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
