Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
how drunk are you?
Several
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
