Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
